First Day: The Update

How great do these girls look? Fresh-faced and smiling through the nerves....both of them about to embark on a new year in new schools. They must have been excited because our history with first day of school pictures has been pretty sad and usually end up with them looking extremely annoyed at each other and me.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all the night before our big first day. Not a bit. That just catpulted my emotions into overdrive. Drop off for Savanna was fine, knowing 3rd grade isn't all that different from 2nd grade, I didn't even feel guilty just dropping her off in the car rider lane as we passed a lot of other parents personally escorting their children in. Besides, any excercise in independence will do that child a world of good.

Next to drop off was my Claire. With her brave face, and her map strategically positioned where she could sneak a peak if necessary, my little girl started high school. She had graciously played Barbies with Savanna the day before. Today, she would sit next to an 18 year old boy (a football player with a lot of facial hair, she informs me) in an art class and kindly lie to him about how his drawing wasn't all that bad.

Though I hadn't slept, I decided to do myself a favor and meet up with some other moms so I wouldn't have to sit alone at home and wonder if she was wandering the halls or sitting alone in the cafeteria. It would serve me best to drink vodka (yes, we did, at 8:30 am) with them and seek comfort in knowing that my extreme annoyance of my husband wanting to tag along for the grand finale of the big drop off after I had done every ounce of preparation to get us there was indeed, a common feeling amongst us.

Then I went home and took a nap. In Claire's bed.

Picking up Savanna first, she announces that her day was just like any other day, but in a nicer school. My phone started ringing and I swear she got at least 10 phone calls before dinner from some of her new friends.

Picking up Claire, I was just as nervous as drop off. But there she was waiting for me. Standing in the sun, not at all wilted, in those fabulous cowboy boots. She had survived. She didn't get lost. She had helped out a new student who was obviously distraught at the new school. There was no boy who had captured her heart and stolen her away from me. It was ok.

Its all ok.

And today she did it all over again. In flourescent pink Vans.


~xoxoAJ~

First Day

About mid July I start counting down to the first day of school. I have had enough of the "I am bored" attitudes and the "I am so over doing chores" complaints that inevitably rear their ugly heads. So every year we get to the day when we register and meet our teachers and anticipate that first day of school...and it usually doesn't get a lot more exicting around here than the girls winning the battle over me purchasing that one extra tacky folder with the kitten on the front.

Mid-July is also when I start getting everything ready for "back to school". We have done the usual shopping and activities. School supplies. Uniforms (I hate them, in case you didn't know my opinion already). Shoes. Everything I will need for nutritious lunches and snacks. Backpacks are ready. Breakfast is prepped and ready to go. I have my to do list ready for all the things I am going to be able to get done in this big, empty, quiet house tomorrow.

In the past, this is when I have a glass of wine, put the dogs to bed, and breathe a sigh of relief that I have gotten it all done. Not tonight.

Claire begins high school tomorrow.

At this point, I can only pray to God that I have gotten it all done.

Have I taught her to love herself enough to not throw up in a bathroom just to fit a mold?

Have I taught her to stand up for herself and what she believes in?

Will she really call me from a party if she isn't capable of getting herself home?

There are a 78 thousand thoughts running through my head right now that make glue sitcks and binders seem so insignificant. I know my child. Claire is already a better person than I am. She is so grounded. But I feel like I am throwing her into an arena and while I know I have tried to equip with her with everything she needs to fight her way through all the challenges that she will be faced with, I still wonder. Did I get it done?

Tomorrow is the first day of Claire. The first day of a journey that will shape the woman she will become, the path she will take. The friends, the boys, that will break her heart, that she will vacation with in 20 years. It's the music she will love. It's the awkward first kiss. The awesome second kiss. Life shattering arguments with your best friend. Making new friends.

I am so excited to continue to get to know the girl that has started to become Claire. I can't wait to see her in her cowboy boots walking up to the front door of high school, feeling confident that she knows where she is going in that big building (because she studied the map all night AND the boots are bad ass, that's important). I cannot wait to hear about the first day. I told her she only has to do the first day of high school once. We will both sigh a huge sigh of relief to get it over with.

High School. Here we go.

So when you are buying cap erasers and glue sticks, start having the important conversations with your kids. About values. About self respect. Because I assure you, no amount of college ruled paper and notecards compares to knowing you have also sent her in with a good head on her shoulders.



~xoxoAJ~